Dating for Dummies
by ShyAnon
Summary: On impulse Nero asks Kyrie out on a date. There's just one problem. He's never been on a date before. Enter Dante who swears he will coach Nero in the ways of dating. Yeah...he's screwed! NeroxKyrie with Dante third wheel. Two-shot now complete!
1. Blind Leading the Blind

**Bahahaha! You won't believe how this story took form. It all started with me imagining how hot Dante would look in a kinagashi...lmao (yahoo image the term for an example) This began because I was reading a manga where the lead male character was wearing one very loosely and he basically could've been a dark haired Dante...lol -still imagining it, adding in Vergil and Nero-**

**... -Imagining bare chest and muscled thighs peaking beneath-**

**... -passes out-**

**The rabid fan girl in me coming out. Surely you can understand? You get that visual for free, the rest you'll have to review for! lol**

**This was also the FIRST Nero story I began writing, but obviously **_**Slightly Homophobic **_**was published first. I am really lagging behind on NBT, BIO and Obsession because while I know where they're going I can't seem to put it into words. So I've been writing a TON of short stories. This one should be a two-shot so it does not end here.**

**So enjoy, review, and hopefully giggle... I'm gonna go find that manga and turn that characters hair white... Muhahahaha!**

* * *

Dante stepped back through the doors of Devil May Cry clutching an unopened magazine in his hand. It was the issue of "Grease Bunnies" he had been waiting anxiously for, because his beautiful bike was featured on the cover. Not that his bike was the ultimate in motorcycles, but one of the editors owed him a favor for saving his neck. What he wanted was his 15 minutes, with his two favorite ladies by his side. His bike and the hot model that he bought every copy of Grease Bunnies for... Narissa...

He felt like a kid at Christmas about to open the largest and most expensive of gifts. Dante tossed his other mail down on his desk uninterestedly as he began tearing the plastic off the mag. Before he could get it open though the front door slammed in.

While the door was practically thrown off its hinges, the "guest" who entered walked with a very slow slump. Dante didn't even look back as he finally removed the outer wrapper and beamed at his own reflection. God was he beautiful! He even put the lovely Narissa to shame. It was enough to make a grown man weep at the very sight of him. He would have to frame this beautiful work of art.

"Aren't you going to ask who's there, or what's wrong?" Nero growled from somewhere behind him.

"Shaddup, I'm busy," he responded in pure euphoria. He felt someone looking over his shoulder.

"Who are the girls?"

"Girls? What girls?" Dante asked, caught off guard by this question.

"The girl on the ground, and the one in the red dress whose leg she's grasping." Nero replied. Dante turned to look at him over his shoulder with a slight flush of red.

"That's ME you idiot!" Dante growled turning and smacking Nero with the magazine. Realizing he might've hurt his beloved magazine he pulled it back towards him. "Look what you made me do! And it's NOT a dress; it's a kick ass red dragon kinagashi."

"What the hell is that? It looks like a dr..."

"It's a kinagashi!" Dante barked, stopping himself from hitting Nero with the magazine again. "Look it up and educate yourself!"

"You're the one wearing make up in the photo."

"It's only a little bit to enhance my naturally handsome features." Dante responded with a smug smirk.

"No, that is eyeliner, blush, and I'm pretty sure you've been airbrushed more than the girl beside you." Nero said with irritating sincerity. Dante tried to find something else to hit him with.

"Remind me why I haven't have kicked your ass out by now?" Dante growled in a biting tone. When he turned to look at the kid he noticed something was very off about his color. Almost like Nero had just remembered something unpleasant.

"I'm screwed," he said in a wavering voice.

"You're not gonna throw up on my floor are you?" Dante asked when Nero wobbled slightly. He plopped himself down onto Dante's old leather couch causing fluff and dust to fly up, but the kid didn't seem to notice it at all. "What's wrong with you kid?" Nero mumbled something so low even Dante's sensitive ears had trouble picking up on it. "What?"

"I asked Kyrie out!" Nero bellowed, throwing his hands over his face.

"Well, congrats! It's about damn time!" Dante chuckled jovially as he sat on the arm of the couch. "Here I thought it was something bad."

"It _is_ something bad!" Nero snapped as his devil bringer glowed with a vibrant blue light. "I've never been on a date in my life! She was just standing there looking so damned cute and the words just slipped out!" Nero groaned and sat himself forward with his elbows on his knees, head in between his hands. "I'm gonna mess this up, I just know it."

Dante crossed his arms and observed the boy on his couch. Nero, while an annoying kid, was too nice for his own good. Dante had never understood the boy properly and yet could sympathize just the same. He was brash, a total smart ass, but the kid wore his heart on his sleeve. It was an enduring quality that Dante couldn't brush off, especially when he looked so down as he did now.

"You still hung up on her then?" Dante asked without needing an answer. Anyone who didn't see how much Nero loved Kyrie would be in the Guinness book of world records under "world's biggest moron". Maybe that too was why Dante couldn't turn the brat out onto the street. After all he too could at least understand the concept of unconditional love. If two people were destined to be happy it was these two in his eyes.

"Buck up kid, it could be worse. She could've said no," he said trying to lighten the mood.

"It would've been better if she had."

"Ok, if you knock off the emo-ness then maybe I would be willing to help you out." Dante grinned down at him. Nero lifted his head to look perplexed at Dante.

"Help?" He asked, and then raised a suspicious eyebrow. "How?"

"Have some faith kid, I am after all...," he pulled the magazine up to show himself with Narissa hugging his leg and gazing dreamily up at him. "...the master of love."

Nero burst out into loud and obnoxious laughter as he pointed at the magazine.

"I can't take a man serious when he's wearing make up and a dre..."

"M-E-N-S KINAGASHI!" Dante snapped, smacking him again with the magazine. Nero ducked with a grin which indicated to Dante he was feeling a little better now. "Before this night is out Kyrie will think you are more than just an obnoxious twerp!"

"Brilliant." Nero said in hopeless reply.

Nero was screwed, pure and simple. Dante was a moron and knew absolutely nothing about anything. So why was he placing his future with Kyrie in the devil hunter's dirty hands?! Because he was desperate.

He had lived with Kyrie his entire life, and yet he still didn't know how to approach her. Nero had always felt like an outsider, even when brought in by the Order. He could feel the eyes upon him long before his devil bringer showed itself. It was his hair and eyes that made him so different to everyone. Everyone, but Kyrie. She had been a shy and happy child, possibly too encased in the bubble her parents kept her in to know any better. Yet she embraced him from the beginning as if he were her own beloved brother.

He however wanted nothing to do with any of them. No one knew the circumstances of his childhood, even to this day he couldn't muster the strength to recall what had happened prior to coming to stay with them. All he knew was it had caused enough impact to cause him nightmares of a screaming woman standing over him with a knife. He didn't want to think of the implications of the dreams.

He would eventually come to trust Credo, but early on Nero's unsociable nature to the free spirited Kyrie had angered Credo who was very protective of his sister. It made tensions run high in the house and eventually Nero ran away with no intentions of returning. That was until he realized he was being followed.

"Who's there?" He asked standing under a mid day sun.

"Nero?"

"Kyrie?!"

Through a thicket of bushes Kyrie at 12 came wobbling her way in between two bushes. She had leaves in her hair, scrapes on her skin, and her clothes looked a bit dirty.

"What are you doing?" He asked dumbfounded.

"Following you," she smirked sheepishly as she made to stand straight, dusting her sundress off. Nero huffed in disapproval.

"Go home," he said as he turned to continue his march.

"Wait!"

He stopped and she collided with his back, apparently not expecting him to stop on his own. He tumbled forward and landed with her on his back.

"Oh!! Sorry, are you OK?" Kyrie asked concerned as she sat up to move off him.

"Kyrie, go home," he said in turn.

"Not until you come with me. If you want to walk some more it's a few hours before sun down, but we should get back before night fall."

Nero sat up and turned to see her sitting just beside him, knees tucked under her and hands placed neatly in her lap.

"I'm not going back."

"Why?"

He didn't reply, only stood up and started walking again. She apparently didn't like that answer, because she tackled him again.

"Where are you going?"

"Kyrie, for the last time. Go HOME!" He snapped as he tried to lift her off him, but she refused to budge.

"I would, but you keep trying to lead us in the wrong direction," she smirked brightly down at the back of his head as she hugged his back. Nero finally began pushing up until he was on all fours and Kyrie was stifling laughter from above. He turned on his back and smushed her into the ground.

"Not so funny now, is it?" He challenged at her as she half laughed, half whimpered.

"No fair! You're stronger than me!" She protested as he tried to pry her hands from around his stomach.

"Let go already or I'll do it again," he warned.

"Just tell me why you're leaving and I'll let go."

Nero had paused, a deep frown set in his face as he stared up into the blue sky above. How could she be so oblivious to what was so apparent to everyone else? He often wondered if her ignorance was genuine.

"I don't want you to leave," she finally said when he didn't answer her. Nero felt the arms at his stomach tighten a bit and her head lean up to his shoulder blade.

He reached down and pulled her hands apart, allowing himself to finally move to sit just next to her laying form and he was surprised to see tears in her eyes. Kyrie sat up and wiped at her face before turning back to him.

"Why are you always trying to leave us? Don't you like us Nero?"

Again he was quiet. He didn't know what to say really. He didn't _dislike _them so much as he felt he didn't _need _them and they would be better off without him. Of course he couldn't just say as much to Kyrie, because he didn't know if a girl of 12 could understand.

"Go home Kyrie," he sighed. Suddenly she was on her feet and standing over him lightning quick.

"No! You are coming with me!" She yelled down at him, reaching down and taking his hand. She was trying to pull him back home, but he only continued to sit on the ground watching as her feet slipped in her effort to pull his weight. She was so determined she didn't even stop to consider it was an impossible feet, her face scrunched in concentration and effort. He couldn't help it. He laughed.

"Oh!" She huffed as she turned and started pulling at him from a different angle, affording him full view of her face as she dug her shoes into the ground for better leverage. At one point she even made him sit forward a bit, but he only continued laughing. Finally frustrated by it all she dropped to her knees and threw her arms around his neck. "Just come HOME Nero! You can't be my brother if you leave, and I want you to be."

Nero had stopped laughing and sat quite still. It was her determination that threw him off.

"You already have Credo," he said in a laughing tone to mask the sudden thump of emotion he felt.

"But I want you." Kyrie said in the most certain voice he had ever heard. It was what Kyrie had always been to him. Her feelings were never in doubt on anything she had done. Even when faced with the truth of his Devil Bringer, he could see her wanting to find a justifiable reason for him lying to her. She always believed in good, and Nero would always love her for bringing that into his life.

Nero felt himself blush about every shade of red and purple known to man. Here he was, a soon to be warrior brought to his very knees by the simple request of a 12 year old girl. He was going to leave, was determined to leave... until Kyrie said those words.

It was the first time he realized the truth of why he wanted to leave. He loved her. Because he was supposed to be a beloved step brother, but he would never see her as a sister. Only when he aged into puberty would he realize what exactly that meant. She was so pure and innocent and he was a preteen who was beginning to have un-brotherly thoughts towards her. It wasn't what others would say, but how Kyrie would see him if she knew. He somehow couldn't bear the idea of her hating or mistrusting him.

Her words though gave him hope. He wrapped his arms about the girl and returned her possessive hug which only made her sigh and laugh. Yes, he would continue to be her beloved brother until the age where he could finally tell her all that was in his heart. Until then he would protect the things within her that he loved so much, and make sure she never knew a day of unhappiness.

--

Nero glanced over his shoulder nervously to where Dante was hiding just out of sight.

"Stop looking at me." Dante hissed through the earpiece concealed in Nero's ear. Nero flinched as feedback came through as well.

"This isn't gonna work," he whispered so no one would think he was talking to himself. This wasn't going to work! Even with Dante in his ear the whole night he was going to fail. He could already feel himself sweating like crazy, his chest tightening at the sheer terror of his first date...with Kyrie. He swallowed hard and looked around.

He was supposed to meet Kyrie in front of the movie house, and after a flick they were going to dinner. He was beginning to doubt his clothing, his hair, even the cologne he had put on. Was it too much? Not enough?! Since when did it matter what he looked like?! He wanted to scream.

"Keep your cool kid. Remember, it's just Kyrie." Dante said reassuringly.

"That doesn't help! It's KYRIE! If I mess this up..."

"Nero?" Her voice came from somewhere to his right. He froze on the spot and suddenly the hot sweat turned cold and sent a shiver up his spine. Oh God...

Nero turned slowly to see her beautiful brown eyes looking at his questioningly. He on the other hand wanted to faint.

"Steady," came Dante's voice in his head.

She looked lovely. Her choir dress had been replaced by a light pink sundress and her hair was down. He never realized how long it had grown because she always wore it up. Then she killed him by blushing while tucking her hair nervously behind her ear. Maybe she saw the way he was gawking at her and it caused her to flush.

"Say something already."

"You look..." Nero began, but what could he possibly say that would be appropriate? Dante's voice began to name off adjectives but the word came to Nero all on his own. "...radiant."

"Nice..." Dante chuckled. Now Nero was wishing Dante wasn't there to listen in on this because it was making him blush like crazy between the look of bright admiration in her face and Dante's pervy laughing on the other side. If ever there was a strange contrast then it was right then.

"Thank you." Kyrie said as she smiled up at him, those lovely eyes playfully speaking to his. Her smile strengthened his resolve as he put his concealed devil arm out to her, which she took gently.

Once inside Nero got them a drink and the two settled next to one another in the semi-lit theater. He let Kyrie pick the movie, himself not really caring as long as he was with her. He was pretty sure he'd be too busy worrying about dinner conversation to notice the movie anyway.

"I've wanted to see this one, but no one would come with me. Movies aren't worth seeing in theaters unless you have someone to enjoy it with," she said happily as she sipped on the drink he'd bought.

"Yeah," he replied stupidly, berating himself for not having something better to say. Instead he took the cowards method and stalled time by drinking from the soda she had just set down.

"Indirect kiss..." Dante whispered through the earpiece and Nero almost choked on his drink, the carbonation burning his nose and throat as it went down.

"You OK?" Kyrie asked concerned, turning to him.

"Yeah," he coughed gruffly, taking another sip to stop himself from coughing more. He heard Dante chuckle in his ear and once things had settled Nero glanced around. Dante was at the back of the theater munching on popcorn with one foot on the seat before him. He waved at Nero from his chair and gave him thumbs up. Nero WANTED to say something to that but between Kyrie next to him and the suddenly darkening room it was pointless.

All was forgotten though when Nero felt Kyrie lean against him as the bright lights began to flicker on the screen. He turned to look at her and she was eyeing him with her head on his shoulder. How could one girl be this damned cute? He flushed and looked away towards the screen and yet he never really paid any attention, concentrating on feeling Kyrie so very close to him. It was a peaceful feeling to be that close to her and have it be all right.

At one point he lowered his head to rest his cheek upon her soft hair. She moved slightly and Nero quickly apologized for doing it. She only smirked at him.

"I'm just adjusting Nero, it's OK," she whispered to him, settling herself at a more comfortable angle and pulling him close to lean against her again. He never knew what the movie was about, because every time she made the slightest of movements he held his breath in hopes she wouldn't pull away and she never did.

At one point Nero felt her heavy against him and realized with a grin that she had nestled herself so comfortably that she actually fell asleep on him. It made him feel good that she could find such comfort with him. He hoped she knew how much he loved and would protect her. She adjusted her head at an upward angle and Nero felt his heart flutter. He bit his lip as he looked around. Everyone was staring intrigued at the screen, not paying him or Kyrie any mind. What he wanted was to kiss the girl. It was another impulse, similar to the one that made him ask her out in the first place.

Nero leaned down, nose to nose with Kyrie as he watched her closely for any signs of waking. Her eyes fluttered slightly, but other than that she dozed on peacefully ignorant on just how lovely she was. He took the initiative, turning his head slowly before closing his eyes and moving in for it.

"Fernando! How could you?" Dante suddenly came into his mind, causing him to jump 10 feet in the air, spilling the soda between them all over the floor. Everyone around him suddenly hissed for him to be quiet and Kyrie woke up startled by the sudden noise. "Lupe will never forgive you for leaving her for her sister Consuela! Damn, this is some good shit."

"Kyrie, I need to step out for a second. I'll be right back."

Nero mournfully left Kyrie's side to walk up the stairs leading to the lobby, staring pointedly at Dante to follow.

"Dude! Don't take me out at the best part! Lupe was about to walk in and find out Fernando is stupping Consuela!" Dante whined as he stuck his hand into his popcorn and realized it was empty. "Damn, need more popcorn."

Dante walked off without giving Nero a second to yell at him and headed back towards the concession stands with Nero following.

"Listen here old man! You promised to help me and just then you ruined a perfectly good opportunity!" Nero growled finally catching up to Dante as a person began refilling his popcorn.

"I wasn't even paying attention to what you two were up to. I got sucked into the movie." Dante stated as he paid and began munching on popcorn again. "Want some?" He offered to Nero who only glared at him.

"Don't talk unless it has to do with Kyrie and me! For that matter don't talk at ALL unless it seems I need your help."

"Touchy ain't you?"

"Did you have to talk about kissing RIGHT as I was taking a sip?"

"Dude, if a girl shares a soda with you it's a pretty good indication she's not disgusted by the thought of exchanging bodily fluids with you." Dante said with a smirk.

"Excuse me?" Nero growled as anger etched his face. No one talked about Kyrie like she was one of Dante's flavors of the week.

"Don't get your panties in a twist. What I MEAN is it's a good indication she wants to kiss you." Dante responded. "Now who's the pervert?"

Nero blushed, but looked at Dante with a new found appreciation.

"You really think she wants me to...?"

"You think she sleeps on a shoulder and somehow gravity ignores the fact she's sleeping with her face pointed to yours?" He grinned.

"I thought you said you weren't watching us?" Nero blushed.

"I caught a bit here and there. You could learn a lot from Fernando. Except if you cheat on Kyrie with her sister Consuela don't ask for my help. Heh, you brought that one on yourself."

"I'm going back." Nero sighed resigned turning towards the doors to the theater. "Wait a few minutes and then come in if you want to finish your movie."

He re-entered the theater and slowly made his way through the darkness to where he and Kyrie were sitting...only to find another man in his seat and a very upset Kyrie beside him.

"Excuse me, you're in my seat." Nero said as calmly as possible to the dead man who was trying to put an arm around Kyrie. The man turned his balding head to survey Nero with a cocky smile.

"Back off pretty boy," he said simply as he turned back to Kyrie who looked like she didn't know what to do. Nero began to unwrap his Devil Bringer when Kyrie suddenly stood.

"Nero no!" She whispered as she stepped over her assailant, but seemed to trip over his large feet and came falling forward. Nero put his arms out and caught her she reached out to grab onto his shoulders in her panic. Nero pulled her to him to make sure she was secure and it was then her face looked up at his. Apparently some onlookers decided watching the two of them was more interesting than Fernando and Consuela getting it on.

"You OK?" He whispered down at her, causing her bangs to flutter slightly from his breath. She nodded wordlessly, and even in the dark theater Nero could see she was blushing yet she wasn't looking away from him timidly. Damn him for all eternity of torture and loneliness if only he could have this moment with Kyrie uninterrupted. The impulse to kiss her came to him again and from the weight of her stare he was pretty sure he could get away with it. That was before the third wheel sitting in front of them piped in his two scents.

"Get a room," the jerk STILL in Nero's seat growled bitterly as he realized his _apparent _charm of manhandling Kyrie didn't work. Another impulse came to Nero to kick his ass. He couldn't let this jerkoff get away with this... It was then Nero noticed a single piece of popcorn fly with dangerous speed past them and smack right into the back of the jerk's head.

"HEY!" He growled as he rubbed at his balding spot, standing at least two inches over Nero. "You hit me!"

"Bulls eye!" Dante said jubilantly. "If he doesn't want thing thrown at his head he should've have such an obvious target on it." Nero ignored him and faced his accuser.

"No I didn't!" Nero snapped back defensively. The guy shoved him and Nero almost flew back into Kyrie but caught his balance. "I don't want to fight."

"Then you should've backed down pretty boy OW!"

Another kernel came and smacked him right in the eye, then another on his forehead, and another right near his thigh. Coming with such speed and accuracy it could only be one person. Yet when he searched for Dante he couldn't find him.

"Nero, duck!" Dante's voice suddenly came and Nero pulled Kyrie down as a large soda pelted the guy right in the groin. Everyone was stunned, but after a second nervous laughter broke into uncontrollable as the movie was now completely forgotten. In the midst of it all Nero pulled Kyrie from the theater not knowing whether to kill or thank Dante.

Once outside Nero was pretty sure their night was ruined until he heard Kyrie laughing like mad behind him, leaning against the side of the building to catch her breath. He raised an eyebrow as he watched her and she only gave a playful smirk.

"What? He deserved it didn't he?"

"The movie... I'm sorry I left you alo-," he began but Kyrie put a hand up to stop him.

"You know, I'm kind of hungry now after all that. Where should we go?" Kyrie asked sweetly brushing the subject under the carpet.

"Antonio's dude, it has the BEST pizza!" Dante chimed. Nero mentally tried to tell him that they weren't on a date for HIS pleasure but their own.

"Where would you like to go?" He asked her as she came to take his arm again, her eyes rose to the dark sky in thought.

"How about Antonio's? I could do pizza..."

"Jackpot!" Dante cheered. "Hooray for Kyrie! Dude, if this doesn't work out think she'd date me?"

Nero ignored him and smiled at Kyrie warmly. If she wanted pizza damn it she would have it. If she had wanted authentic Japanese food he might've flown her there if it meant she kept looking at him that way. Anything to try and make sure he made it through the date in one piece.


	2. Tunnel de l'amour

**I want to thank you guys for being so patient when it came to the final chapter of this story. Sometimes smaller stories get put on hold when I'm writing much larger ones. :) And I really wanted to make sure the quality of humor never slipped on this which meant having to write, and then put it away for a while.**

**I hope that this chapter will be to your approval as I tried so hard to keep humor at almost every turn and I do love how it ends...lol We need to show more love for NeroxKyrie when given the chance. Even if we didn't see much of her in the game, the mere fact Nero loved her made me like her. Now I get to write fics where I can hopefully flesh her out a bit.**

**This is the final chapter of this two-shot. So read, review and enjoy. :)**

**Dating For Dummies**

**Chapter 2**

Nero should've been happy... After all, they managed to get the best table at Antonio's pizzeria right by the window. It gave them the perfect view of the store front across the street lit up with beautiful lights that seemed to sparkle in Kyrie's eyes. She was chatting away about this and that while Nero smirked at her. He probably would've enjoyed what she was saying... _if _he didn't have Dante eating noisily in his ear.

"Come to daddy," he seemed to purr as silence, followed by chewing blocked out Kyrie's beautiful voice. He wanted to glare at Dante who was sitting at a table behind Kyrie so she wouldn't see him. It was a booth that was conveniently surrounded by fake plants. If he glared though Kyrie would see it.

He suddenly felt her hand on his and turned to look from Dante to her. She was smirking at him with an odd stare.

"Everything OK? You've barely touched your pizza."

"Everything's fine. I was just listening to your voice and kind of drifted off," he assured her with a smile. She grinned at him.

"Is my voice so droning?"

"N-no! I just meant I tend to get lost a bit in it...," he paused, not sure if he should reveal _that_ much to her, but since she didn't look at him like he was creepy he continued. "I love the sound of your voice."

"You didn't always, remember?" She asked with a knowing smile. That had been a lie he told her of course to mask his own feelings at the time but she never knew that.

"What can I say; it's kinda grown on me."

"Aha! Liar!" She said triumphantly. Now it was his turn to give her a strange look. "I saw you. You said you hated my voice, but I always saw you hiding up in the rafters above the church hall."

He blinked at her and internally punched himself. He had thought he was so careful not to be seen by her. If she had seen him she never gave any indication of it, not even a glance upwards. So how did she...?

"Credo," she answered his internal question. "When I was 15 he told me."

_That bastard._

"Don't think ill of him. He just thought I should know, since he knew how upset I was that you didn't come to them," she said with her face slightly cast to the side with a bit of a blush. He didn't know she had been upset at him not being there.

"Kyrie, I..."

"I was really happy to hear it though. I always feel more confident when I know you are near by, so since then I tried singing my best knowing you were somewhere listening."

She blushed a bit unable to meet his eyes. He felt his face burn at her words and he turned her hand over so it was in his rather than on top of it. He lifted it up and gave it a small kiss.

"Awwwww..."

Nero's eyes darted from Kyrie's, his lips still on her skin to view Dante kneeling in his booth like a child and gazing at them between two fake trees, a partially eaten piece of pizza in his mouth.

"Dude, you got mooovvees," he added winking from him at the distance. Nero only closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on Kyrie's warm hand. But then there was the sound of chewing and he suddenly wondered _why_ he had to keep the earpiece in. Dante had been of no help to him at all. Yet if he took it out now Kyrie would see, and if he were to leave her alone to take it out in the bathroom what was occupying her time to remain looking forward and _not_ seeing Dante behind her?

"May I ask you something Nero?" Kyrie's voice suddenly came back to him. He opened his eyes and realized he was still holding her hand with his face pressed against it. He let it go hurriedly which made Dante laugh.

"Don't drop her hand in the marinara."

"Uhh, sure," he replied ignoring Dante in favor of Kyrie. He took a sip of his soda to smooth over his anxiety.

"How come you never asked me out before now?"

He almost choked...again. He decided soda was detrimental to his health and he would never drink in front of either people again as long as he lived. She laughed, curling a delicate hand to her face politely to not embarrass him.

"I just-- well," he stammered trying to think of the correct response to this question. Dante was no help as he continued chewing noisily. "We grew up together, and you were always like a sister to me. So... I didn't think you'd see me as anything more than a brother. And, well...," he paused as he touched his demon arm out of habit. "There's still so much I don't know about myself, which means there's a lot you still don't know. I felt it was better not to involve you."

That was a truthful answer if ever he had to give a straight one. Sometimes the demon side made him afraid of himself. It had seemed too foreign and scary to him only a few months ago when it spread from a small wound all the way to his elbow. What he might've said if he didn't have so much pride was in truth, he did not feel _worthy_ of her affection.

"What changed then to make you ask me out?" Kyrie asked with a gentle smile.

Was _stupidity_ a good answer?

"Hold that thought," she said as she stood from the table when he didn't respond right away. "I'm going to the ladies room."

"Right," he replied as he stood politely. She eyed him as she passed, like she hadn't expected him to stand, but appreciated it just the same. Once she was out of sight Nero fell into the booth seat and let his head limply hit the table with a dull thud.

"Maybe I shouldn't have come at all. You don't need me." Dante's voice said but Nero noticed it was echoing which only meant one thing. He sat up to find Dante in Kyrie's vacated seat. "Dude, you got _olives_ on your pie? Nasty..."

"You are the worst love advisor _ever_." Nero said regretting he ever went to the elder hunter for help.

"Yet if it wasn't for me they'd be scraping you off the popcorn laden and sticky floor of the Cineplex while Kyrie went home with another guy. Right?" Dante answered slyly as he took Nero's soda and drank from it.

"Indirect kiss." Nero mumbled and laughed when Dante choked.

"Don't even joke about that!" Dante growled as he wiped his front with some napkins.

"Go back to your table and take this earpiece with you for all the good it's done me." Nero sighed as he began taking it out. Just then Dante kicked his foot.

"She's coming back!" Dante hissed.

"Shit! Hide somewhere!" Nero countered kicking his leg back.

"Like where?!" Dante asked looking around frantically for an escape route.

"Anywhere! Just _go away_!"

With that Dante, who Nero would consider a moron as long as he lived, went _under_ the table. There was a long red paper cloth over it to block him from view, but with Dante right there how the hell was he supposed to concentrate on anything?

"Welcome back." Nero said as Kyrie moved towards the table.

"Thanks," she said as she got back in her seat. She looked up at him expectantly. "So, what's your answer?"

"Uhh, answer?"

"Yeah, what made you finally ask me out?" Kyrie asked with a small laugh.

"Ohhh, right. That," he said as he cleared his throat. Dante had distracted him too much from thinking on an answer. "I guess I just couldn't... help myself anymore."

He looked up and saw Kyrie blushing and looking at him surprised. It made his ears burn again as he let out a nervous laugh. She was silent and would not stop looking at him like that. He flushed and his brain scrambled to come up with something to say to break the silence. Her stare was too intense that he felt if he didn't say something that he might try something foolish... Like kiss her with how cute she looked.

"Well, what made you say yes?" He asked. It was the first question that popped into his head. Her eyes faltered for a moment and she began to fidget with her hands, her eyes lingering on them as her mouth opened.

"I-I've always liked you Nero," she said genuinely as her eyes fluttered back up to look at him. Her face even redder now and his slowly growing to match it.

_Always...always...always..._

_...always?_

He decided that was the most beautiful thing to ever come from her mouth just as if she had sang it to him. She had _always_ liked him? The years of adolescent feelings for her, thinking she would never... _could_ never possibly reciprocate his feelings for her. Only to find she was as about as lost as he had been. Somehow the idea of her mirroring his thoughts of fear and doubt made her even more beautiful to him.

"Kyrie...," he said slowly.

"Yes Nero?"

He wanted to lean over and kiss her. Right here in front of all these people without caring who saw it. Nothing else mattered in that moment except...

"I think I discovered Victoria's Secret."

Nero froze and felt his face burn, if possible, even more red as he heard Dante's whisper in his ear. He had almost forgotten that Dante was under the table.

"You wanna know if the carpet matches the drapes?"

Nero tried counting back from ten to keep his cool, because even if he didn't give a damn if he were caught at that moment the thought of explaining why Dante was under the table obviously playing pervert was not something he wanted to remember of his first date with Kyrie.

But Dante would pay _dearly_ for this later. No doubt about that.

"There's one other place I want to take you before we head back. You feeling up for it?" He asked calmly. She looked a little taken back, as if she'd expected something else, but her eyes lit a bit.

"What other place?"

"It's a surprise," he replied with a smirk. "C'mon, let's get out of here."

He stood and held his hand out to her, dropping cash on the table to pay for their barely touched food. She stood and took his arm, leaning her head on his shoulder as they went to leave the place.

"Wait, where you going kid?" Dante asked in his ear. Nero said nothing, only put the arm Kyrie was holding slightly behind his back so his hand flipped his middle finger in hopes Dante had poked his head out of the table in time to catch it. Shortly there after Kyrie curled her fingers in his and he moved it back to his side.

--

He was determined that he would do this all on his own. He couldn't yet get rid of the device in his ear for fear of Kyrie noticing him taking it out, but he had become very good at ignoring the hunter's pleas to not be left behind.

"C'mon, we were having fun! Seriously I didn't look up her skirt, I swear. If it makes you feel better she has really hot legs."

Nero heard none of it, or acted as if he didn't and instead concentrated on entertaining Kyrie. Somehow since she told him she always liked him it was easier to be around her because it taught him that she liked him for him. She saw the side that no one had ever seen and still _always_ liked him for it. It was a big ego booster.

Nero had taken Kyrie to a local fair ground where, to his luck, a carnival was celebrating its final night in town. He had seen the poster just over her shoulder on the pizzeria wall when he was trying to contain his anger at Dante's comments. He could lose the elder easily there if he were to follow and the idea of riding alone on some rides seemed appealing to him.

When she caught sight of the bright lights her face lit up about as bright.

"Oh! Do you remember that carnival we went to where Credo ate so much cotton candy that he threw up on the tilt-a-whirl?" Kyrie asked excitedly as they walked inside.

"And on me, don't forget..." Nero said remembering it not too fondly.

"I got to hose you two off," she continued on as if that were the highlight of her life. He shook his head with a laugh.

"Remember Cotton Candy Credo? He never forgave you for calling him that."

"Again, he threw up on _me_," he added but this time he was laughing. "OK, so it's kind of funny. Where to?"

"Rides first then cotton candy I think."

"Good idea." Nero agreed as they entered together.

"Amusement park? I love this kind of shit," came Dante's voice again. "But seriously dude, where'd you go?"

So on it went with Nero ignoring Dante as he escorted Kyrie around. They rode a few rides, his favorite, despite his last foul run in with it, was the Tilt-o-whirl because it forced Kyrie into his arms when it reached top speed. Although she did not seem too objective to being there even before the ride began.

All the while they were being hunted by Dante who seemed pretty pissed off that he had been stood up by his two reluctant dates.

"Ya know man, this is some bullshit. No loyalty at all... I come all the way out here to help and you go and ditch me for what? A _woman_."

_Talk about the pot calling the kettle black_, Nero had mused at hearing the elder's grumblings. Dante could've just given up and went home. But that would be sensible and Nero knew Dante was anything but.

So the two continued without him. Nero won Kyrie a teddy bear, and before he knew it all his previous fears and reservations were gone. It was like it was when they were kids who had no clue about complicated things like love, fear, or embarrassment. Nero realized you could be friends with your lover which he thought made the idea of being with Kyrie all the more appealing. She was enjoying herself, _smiling _for him, and to his great pleasure decided holding close to him was her favorite activity so far. If Nero hadn't been wearing clothes he might've melted to the floor.

"What next?" Nero asked as she looked around thoughtfully. Her eyes were bright, and reflected the overhead lights in them. Her cheeks were flushed a bit and she wasn't even looking at him. It was a sure sign she was happy all on her own which made him even happier. He sighed contentedly.

"What's a man gotta do to get a little service round here?" Dante grumbled not to Nero, but obviously to whomever he was engaging at the moment. "Well, hey there beautiful." Inaudible words were heard talking back to him. "Are you on the menu?"

Nero let out a chuckle as a slap was heard, an 'ow', and the elder hunter's voice came back.

"Easy there baby, I wasn't planning to bite... hard. OK, OK, I'm outta here. Didn't want anything anyway. Hey kid, where the _hell _are you? Can you believe these carni women? She probably was a man under all those clothes anyway... Maybe she has three breasts?"

Silence came, another slap, and then Dante.

"Nope, only two... ow."

Nero couldn't help but laugh a bit which drew Kyrie's attention.

"What's so funny?" She asked slyly as she eyed him. Nero stood to attention and tried to think of something to cover it with.

"Oh, er--" He looked around and his eyes rested on something... pink. A few yards away was a heart shaped sign that said _Tunnel de l'amour_. His face must've looked perplexed because before he could tear his eyes away Kyrie looked at it too.

"You want to ride?"

"Ahhh, no. That's a little too much for a first date don't you think?" Nero asked sheepishly.

Kyrie walked closer to him with a gentle stride and stood before him twisting her hand in the other. Then her big, brown eyes turned up to his with soft lashes batting ever so slightly at him.

"I think it would be fun," she said softly.

"I-I totally agree," he replied dumbly realizing that jumping off a cliff would be appealing if she had requested that while looking at him that way.

She smiled brightly, almost... naughtily before taking his hand and pulling him towards it.

He could not believe it. He was going into a dark tunnel... with Kyrie.

Suddenly he was feeling self conscious again because weren't places like that made for kissing couples? Was she expecting for him to kiss her? _No way..._ What if he was really bad at it?!

_No dude chill... Stay positive, cool, and confident._

After all he had wanted an opportunity to be alone with her, to kiss her since he first saw her standing in front of the Cineplex. In the darkness of the tunnel he would have that chance to finally be with her and maybe even toss the stupid earpiece into the water.

They purchased their tickets, went inside and he helped Kyrie to step down into the boat. He followed after her and smirked as she set her teddy bear in her lap. They were quiet as they rode into the vastly dark tunnel.

"In a way, it's kind of creepy." Kyrie's voice seemed to echo lightly.

"W-well, you can move closer if you w--"

"OK." Kyrie said quickly as she slid to sit thigh to thigh with him. Nero was glad that it was dark in there and she couldn't see his face. He swallowed hard and put him arm around her shoulders before she leaned her head on his.

He was wondering how he should initiate it.

"Kyrie?" Nero asked

"Hmm?" She seemed to hum.

"I wanted you to know that... I've always...liked you too," he said carefully. He lifted his concealed devil arm and took hold of her chin which she willingly lifted. He could feel her trying to find him with her eyes in the dark as her small hand pressed to his chest. This was it, there was no going back.

He swallowed hard... as the lights suddenly came up and Nero was momentarily blinded. He felt annoyed as he realized someone had turned on the lights in the tunnel. He squinted to see Kyrie also squinting around with a bit of a funny smile on her face. Their eyes found one another, her smile wilted and to his surprise she moved close to him as if the moment hadn't been ruined. Lights were no match for their attraction.

However the loud electronic bell that followed just then was so jarring it caused them to both jump and cover their ears painfully.

"What the hell is happening?" Nero growled. Kyrie shook her head and stood. "What are you doing?"

"Someone would've come by now if something were wrong," she yelled as she stepped lightly to the left ledge on the side of the boat. "I'm going to go check it out."

"Kyrie, wait--" Nero tried to yell as he stood. She appeared to not hear him though over the loud buzzing noise as he watched her run off. Nero looked annoyedly around, kicked the side of the boat and sat down to pout. After a minute of excruciating and maddening ringing the stupid bell turned off but the lights stayed on.

Nero thought he heard someone coming, turned and saw nothing but the curvy tunnel and the black water beneath him. It actually _was_ kind of creepy with the silence all around him. He was too pissed though at the fact that by the time Kyrie returned he would probably be at the end of the tunnel and yet _another _chance would pass him by.

"Hey Dante, you there?" Nero whispered as a light wind blew through making a strange whistling noise. He felt himself involuntarily shiver. Dante said nothing over the earpiece and Nero scoffed. "Sure, now you decide to shut your trap, jackass."

He considered getting up to go after Kyrie rather than waiting here when the lights suddenly shut off and he was thrust into pitch black.

Nero heard footsteps again, this time from the right side of the bank and figured it was Kyrie coming back since they had entered on that side.

"Hello?" Nero asked as he heard the footsteps come to a stop close to where his boat was.

"Nero?" A voice whispered very low.

"Kyrie?" He asked noting the feminine voice behind it. He reached his hand out towards where the voice came.

She found his hand and he felt her step forward to join him, but apparently she tripped over the side of the boat because she quickly came forward into his arms. It caused him to fall back into the boat with her on top of him. _God, she's heavy_. He wouldn't say as much, but his ribs were feeling it. Then he felt breath on his face again and suddenly saw another opportunity. At the same moment he also realized above and behind where the boats front was light was blooming slowly.

"Kyrie," he began as he closed his eyes and leaned upwards. The tunnel was almost done and if he didn't do it now he might not have the alone time to do it again. He lifted his free hand to smooth over... a very stubbly cheek?

"Heh, oh Nero you bad boy. I never kiss on the first date."

Nero pulled back so quickly he slammed his head against the bottom of the boat. The overly feminine voice echoed, but not from the tunnel. From his _earpiece_.

Light came into the boat and Nero was horrified to find _Dante_ laying on top of him.

"Hey there sweet heart." Dante grinned twinkling his fingers in a mock girlish wave. "Give us a smooch"

Nero snarled as he grabbed Dante's collar, and used his legs to flip Dante _over _the side of the boat. A loud splash was heard and Nero got on his knees to look over the side just as Dante's head surfaced.

"C'mon kid, it was only a joke!" Dante partially laughed as he spit water out of his mouth.

"Joke?! _Joke_?! You have single handedly ruined my entire evening with Kyrie! You are a worthless jerk who wouldn't know romance if it tattooed its name on your ass!" Nero yelled down at Dante.

"Of course not... I have something completely different tattooed on my ass." Dante replied as he ducked when Nero tried to slug him.

"Nero? What are you doing?"

Nero quickly pressed Dante's head down under the water so Kyrie would not see as he turned his head slightly. The boat had stopped and Kyrie was waiting for him on ledge to his right.

"I- err, think I lost your teddy bear in the water." Nero replied even as Dante fought to come back up.

"I have my teddy with me," she replied confused as she held it up.

"Oh, good." Nero answered with a smirk as he gave Dante a good thump on the head to knock him senseless for a moment. It gave Nero the chance to hop out of the boat and walk towards Kyrie. "C'mon, I think the fireworks are going to start soon."

"OK."

Nero pointed her away from the _Tunnel de l'amour _just as he heard a loud splash and gasp for air. The earpiece crackled a bit, no doubt since the other end was now sopping wet and he could hear Dante swearing as he skirted Kyrie away hoping to salvage what was left of the evening.

--

They were sitting on the grass, leaning up against a large tree in amongst a bunch of people on blankets. Families, friends and lovers gathered in anticipation of the evenings fireworks show and Nero was feeling rather hopeless.

Their date was almost over and he had yet to truly get Kyrie to himself. His only comfort was the fact she was curled sideways against his chest, lounging in between his legs with her head resting under his chin. He had covered her up with his jacket at the front and now they were just waiting in silence.

"Sorry about the last ride," her voice suddenly said from below. Nero let out a huffed laugh.

"Don't worry about it," he replied softly as he snuggled her closer to him. "What happened anyway?"

"Once I got off and told them they wouldn't let me back on. Some moron walked onto the platform from an alarmed emergency exit," she replied with a giggle.

_Moron is not even the word for it._

"I see."

"I was kind of mad to tell you actually," she continued as she pulled back a bit to look at him. "It seems every time we get to be alone together something keeps interrupting us."

"Oh?"

It was all he could think to say, trying his best to be oblivious to the fact the correct statement would be _someone_. He was a little more taken aback though that her thoughts were mirroring his own which meant she had wanted him to... kiss her? _No way..._

Kyrie lifted her hand and touched his cheek gently.

"I kind of knew you liked me all this time. I waited for you to make a move and then you finally asked me out. I can't tell you how excited I've been for tonight," she continued softly as her hand raised higher past his cheek.

Nero swallowed as she leaned in close to him and he felt his heart skip a few beats. If God truly hated him then lightening would strike him dead, or a firework would fly up his nose. Because damn it all to hell he was going to kiss her if it was the last thing he did.

"If only...," she whispered inches from his mouth when she paused.

"If only?" He whispered back as he studied her lovely face.

Her hand moved further up his face to what Nero thought was her running her fingers through his hair, but instead went for his ear...and pulled the listening device out.

"If only you would stop listening with your head, and start listening with your heart." Kyrie continued as she tossed the little earpiece off somewhere. Nero was momentarily stunned. She _knew_ the whole time? _How?_

Her hand fell to press over his heart and he decided he didn't need to know. The only advice that had been of any use to him all night had been hers. He listened to his heart and closed the space between them, touching her lips for the first time in his life and swearing he saw fireworks as she got on her knees between his legs and kissed him sweetly back with her hands on either side of his face, his coat falling off her shoulders as he wound his arm around her small waist.

He could hear the fireworks, both hypothetical and actual ones begin but ignored them both. Her lips were soft and warm. He kissed her gently taking it slow as this was both their first time kissing. He did not rush her or even consider deepening it as the very touch of her breath on his lips was enough to fill month's worth of fevered dreams.

He ran his human fingers through her hair and felt her tremble slightly against him. He combed through the mass of softness over and over as if he'd never felt anything like it. Then the moment passed as she pulled back to stare down at him.

Her eyes were lidded, but her lips were smiling at him and he couldn't help but return it as she leaned in and kissed his nose and forehead. It was perfection as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head to her chest in an intimate hug.

"I'm so glad you finally asked me out." Kyrie whispered.

Since this disaster had begun Nero could honestly say for the first time that he was glad he had asked her out too. She settled back down against him and together under the cover of Nero's jacket, human and demonic hand intertwined under a dazzling sky alight with fireworks.

--

Monday morning came and Nero walked through the doors of Devil May Cry whistling like he had just won the lottery.

"Hey old man!" Nero said jovially as he strutted towards the desk where Dante was laying face down. Nero slammed the six pack of beer down on to the desk causing the elder to startle awake. "What's wrong with you?"

Dante's eyes were puffy, his nose red and when he spoke his voice was a hoarse croak.

"Oh, I dunno... Maybe some pussy traitor tried to kill me in water that was filled with every kind of bacteria known to man?" Dante growled pathetically as he sniffed his nose. "Then _maybe _I had to walk back soaking wet and as I bitched at him about it in an earpiece he was _supposed_ to be wearing I was arrested for yelling at a seven year old and his dad who happened to pick it up?"

Nero stared blankly at him for a moment before he let out a roar of laughter.

"Serves you right!"

"I did _everything _to help you, you ungrateful bra-ahhh--aahhhchoo!" Dante said mid-sneeze. Nero stepped back as not to get drenched. "Anmit it," he continued in a nasally tone. "Despite everyting you ga your kith didn you?"

"I did, which is why I brought you this." Nero replied as he pushed the six pack of beer towards him. Dante eyed it while he blew his nose.

"You're still on my shit list."

"C'mon, you won't even have that cold for long so cheer up. Kyrie also wanted me to thank you."

"Did she now?" Dante asked suddenly interested.

"Oh yeah. She wanted me to thank you for being a dick to boot my ass in gear. My words, not hers of course."

"Of course. Brat."

"I did learn one thing from the experience though." Nero said as a grin crossed his face.

"Whassat?" Dante asked rolling his eyes.

"You know nothing about dating at all. Do you?"

Dante lifted a finger to answer him when the front door suddenly slammed opened and in walked a rather anxious looking Vergil. He walked hurriedly from the door and almost shoved Nero out of the way.

"Dante, you _must _help me." Vergil demanded.

"I'm sick, go away." Dante replied after he stared at his brother for a moment.

"This is a matter of life or death Dante! I have never asked anything of you in all my years on this earth and I will _not _beg you." Vergil said pointedly and Dante noticed his twin was seriously freaked out about something.

"Heh, what can I do for you bro?" Dante asked as he sat back in his chair. Nero moved towards them looking a bit peeved that Vergil cut in on their conversation but also seemed curious as to what could be ailing his brother.

"I don't know how she managed it. I cannot even fathom how... That woman must've slipped something into my drink..." Vergil rambled too quickly to be normal. He was actually fumbling over his words.

"Take it easy prissy pants. Who and what are you talking about?" Dante asked.

"Lady... That infernal woman... I... asked her out in a moment of insanity. Worse still she was insane enough to _accept_!" Vergil replied as his face turned a bright red color. "I think I may have to kill her to prevent this from happening. I am a son of Sparda. I don't _do dates_. What do you think?"

Dante just stared at his twin, then to Nero who looked confused as well. Suddenly he got a _great_ idea...

"There will be no killing of Lady." Dante said as he stood. He opened his desk drawer and pulled something small from within. "Don't worry bro, I can help you with your little dating issue. You ever use one of these before?"

Dante held up the two way earpiece with a smirk and watched as Nero rolled his eyes. This time he'd _prove _to Nero that he was, in fact, the love _master_ and that dating was easy - even for dummies.


End file.
